POSTED AT 06:18 PM in my sweetest downfall

soulsmoker

How could i be this weak?

I tried to kill it. God knows how much I tried. But it won't stop.

I call your name in silence. I cry in silence. I suffer in silence. I miss you in silence.

Somebody save me.

the lessons
POSTED AT 06:25 PM in my sweetest downfall

soulsmoker

 

 

 

i learned that i can live without you but  just do not want to.

i learned that you are a beautiful blue sky in summer, untainted.

i learned that you are the wind that makes the brown leaves fall from their branches, gentle.

i learned that you are the silence of old corridor halls, full of memories.

i learned that you are the noise of children laughing, euphoric.

 

there is no point denying that i love you.

 

i learned that my love for you is beyond social expectations.

i learned that my love for you does not entail ownership.

i learned that my love for you transcends cliche.

i learned that being away for awhile makes me love you more.

i learned that i may get hurt in the process but will still persevere.

i learned that i love you enough to be there for you but will give you the freedom to be happy.

 

there are no more rules with how i feel.

 

i learned that you are the stories at the back of my heart, waiting to be written.

i learned that you are the unforgiving rain which i want to die with.

i learned that you are the only one person i would rather break my heart.

i learned that even if we are two parallel lines, i want to try to prove the equation that allowed us to meet.

 

these are my lessons;

but these are not enough to describe how you have changed me.

Reading: the god of small things again
Listening to: the series soundtrack
Watching: CSI Miami

i am sooo fucked up..
POSTED AT 12:22 AM in hanging by a moment

soulsmoker

shit! i hate my job!

shit! i didn't even look up to see you eye to eye when our paths crossed this afternoon.

shit! i need a new job or else i might go back home..

shit! i fuckin miss you..

which is which?

Feeling: annoyed